Karaoke Commentary Part 1

The below details just a few instances where you should probably abstain from grabbing the mic and giving all 5 other people in the bar your best American Idol audition:
-if you can't keep rhythm any better than Michael J Fox can draw a straight line
-if your falsetto resembles a kitty being processed through a meat grinder tail first....slowly...ever so very slowly
-you're illeterate. Seriously? I had to fucking tell you that? What's worse, you don't g-damned know I just told you... cause this is a blog.
-you're white and the song you're choosing to sing was performed by an African American. Sorry to perform racism but there's a reason that the stereotype (like having huge wangs and a penchant for playing bass) involves an ability to sing that's not automatically granted to the caucasian persuasian. If your song is by Eminem, that's pretty damn well redundant. It's like saying a redneck shouldn't take tutoring lessons from a retarded child... it's just compounding the problem.
-you've had more than 2 beers but less than 6.

Rest assured.... the more my friends make me be in this god forsaken place, you'll recieve further rulings.

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DISS-CLAIMER

This is the disclaimer. It's here so when people read this comedy blog, they can't say things like "Hey Jeremy! I'm so totally offended right now. I'm very tempted to kick you in the balls!" Well jokes on you, fellow and/or madame... cause I'm instantly offended by usage of the word "balls". Seriously, it makes trips to common American sporting pastimes very uncomfortable. I hope you feel slightly more jack-ass-ish right now for your presumption that because I'm going to say VERY taboo things involving pretty offensive themes, that I can't be slightly offended myself. Look- you're not even letting me get my disclaimer out of the way. Selfish bastard.

Anyway... I'll say things that are just plain silly. They'll ruffle a feather or two, but they're meant in jest. I'll be sure to try to equally offend everyone. If you ARE easily upset and don't have a very liberal sense of humor, just stick to my silly shenanigans on facebook or via email. If you enjoy reading things you probably shouldn't and getting a little peek into the brains that are Debby & me - well then you've come to the right place - read on! balls.